Guest post courtesy of Doug Pacholke, Webmaster of Atchison Hall Council!
First off, I've already lied to you. Calling this sushi would be like calling Cody Nelson white. It's just plain untrue. Sushi should be a cold slab of raw fish on a cold block of rice. Not this cluster-fuck of fake crab between warm, moist rice. To draw your attention away from this atrocity, the chefs decided they would just toss something completely unexpected into the mix; lima beans. On sushi. I mean, I guess it was a good distractor. I spent more time wondering where to buy whatever the chefs were smoking than actually eating this abomination. So I did the logical thing, and scraped the little buggers off until I had just the bare essentials; warm rice and some sort of fish-like thing. I don't think it even came from the ocean. But whatever, I shoved my fork in and took a bite. Well, I tried to take a bite. See, unlike real sushi, this thing seemed that it would like to disintegrate into rice and krab bits. Fanfuckingtastic. Worse so, it fell into the light greenish liquid that I think they are trying to pass off a wasabi. Which is actually somewhat solid. But okay, I'll bite. Upon the first actual spoonful, I was greeted by an abundance of flavors that pleasured every single taste bud in my mouth. Then I stopped imagining eating real sushi and tried this shit, which tasted like a mixture of air and pure concentrated essence of nothing. Honestly, typing this is sort of like a Vietnam flashback. I'm gonna need some therapy.
On a more serious note, this actually wasn't relatively bad. It's definitely not fillet mignon, but then again, it's not the regular crap they shovel on our plates. However, if you were getting this thinking of eating some real sushi, well, you're better off getting the ice cream. Trust me, I'm gonna be a doctor.
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